As I Look Ahead

What a whirlwind! I remember driving home from Lebanon the day that Jacob's neurologist told me that he would definitely need surgery. I waited until my little guy had fallen asleep in the back seat of my minivan and then cried for about 45 minutes of my 75 minute journey home. Previously I had come to terms with the fact that Zach would be without the use of his legs for a while...but now two surgeries in a span of a month????? How were we possibly going to manage one without the use of his legs and one who may be severely impacted by a very uncertain neurosurgery? How would we manage the time off from work? How would we deal with the fact that our household living space is on three levels? How would we give all four of our children the time and attention that they need? How would we still manage extracurricular activities for the children not hospitalized? What would I do when Marc went back to school for the semester? How would we deal with the stress of our jobs and the stress of our homelife? Could our marriage and our sanity weather the storm? I felt totally numb and exhausted by the time I pulled into my driveway, but decided that we would just tackle this mess the same way we had dealt with the many other "bad news" days we had been through over the years.

As I sit here now, a week and a half into our journey, I am amazed! Abby, Hailey, and Jacob are all quietly enjoying a rare opportunity to watch television while they wait out the 2 hour school delay this morning. Zachary and Marc have decided to take advantage of the delay by getting some more sleep upstairs. The backpacks and lunches are all packed and neatly piled on my kitchen counter and the clothes are all neatly laid out on the wall in the livingroom. Breakfasts have been eaten...giggles come from the media room...the dogs are laying at my feet...all is peaceful.

Yes, life is still a bit crazier than normal. Yesterday, I had to race home to make sure that I shovelled a path for Zach's wheelchair to get from where the bus drops him off to the garage. Marc and I don't get to even sit until about 9pm, and our backs are a bit more stiff than normal. Things like bringing Zach to the bathroom, washing his hair, and even changing his nighttime pullup have become more of a workout than a quick chore. And, our weekly schedule takes a whole lot more planning ahead, now that we can not transport Zach easily by car. All in all though, it seems to work. Marc and I tag team well and the children have all been pretty understanding and accommodating.

Now as I look ahead to Jacob's surgery I still feel very teary and nervous. There are so many unknowns! Luckily though, I feel much more at ease that, despite what curveballs God may throw at us in the coming weeks, somehow we as a family will get through it together.