Recovering From A Rough Night

I think I have gotten about 50 texts, emails, or FB messages that have asked me, "how did you guys sleep last night?". Honestly, I wish that I had better news to share. The reality is that we had a very difficult night. Things started out well. Jacob was munching on some crackers and had kept down a few sips of apple juice. He had even requested that they take the cath out, because he wanted to pee on the potty. His request was honored and after the collected efforts of three nurses (to keep track of his dozen or so wires and tubes hat are attached to his little body and keep his head and neck stiff), he was sitting on the potty earlier than anyone had expected. Our victory was short lived however, about an hour after he returned to bed. That's when the uncontrollable vomiting began.

I've been told that any time you disturb the brain stem, extreme nausea is a side affect. Boy, they weren't kidding! His bed needed to be completely changed at least three times and I've lost count of how many pj tops he's gone through. Every bed change was agonizing to watch, as his little body is hooked up to so many things that the disconnecting process was quite an ordeal. And then there was the need for him to move his head each time...it's so hard to listen to your child scream in pain...ugh! It seemed like it just became a vicious cycle too. His head / neck would hurt, so they would give him more morphine. The morphine would upset his empty little stomach and make him vomit. The resulting bed change would make his head / neck hurt more which would require more pain meds. Then the crying from the pain and the pain meds in his empty tummy would start the process all over again.

Another side effect of the surgery is significant swelling in his face, which is why I have not posted any pictures of my little guy. I didn't feel that it was fair to him to show him that way and I didn't want to scare everyone with how bad he looks. The only way I can describe how he looks is kind of like a boxer who just lost a fight...eyes swollen nearly shut, cheeks very puffy, and his lips looking like he got a bad botox injection. I am trying to get beyond his appearance for my own sanity sake, but you can imagine how hard it would be to see your own child like that and screaming out in pain every time his upper body is touched...it's very hard to work through!

Through all of this though, I have to give Jacob so much credit. He has been wonderful about answering questions and telling the nurses when something hurts. As the pain has become more and more unbearable for him and the vomiting has become more severe today though, I do see him becoming a little less willing to try things that the nurses are suggesting. He's gotten much quieter and less opinionated than yesterday, which makes me concerned about how down in the dumps he may start to get. Just knowing his personality, I was worried that this would happen. For now a steady diet of Thomas, Dora, and Little Einstein's videos have been keeping him content. I am no longer hearing comments like, "Mom, Thomas is going really fast" like I heard yesterday though. Nothing interactive, which is understandable but I am hoping is just temporary. I don't want him to get discouraged and lose his drive to recover. My sister has warned me about what can happen when a child does that...she knows the whole hospital scenario all too well with Hannah.


On the brighter side of things, Jacob's school had a bunch of balloons and some toys delivered to his room today. He wasn't really feeling well enough to enjoy them, but he knows who they are from and they have definitely brightened up his room a bit. Thank you so much Create and Discover! It was a wonderful surprise. Jacob also got a visit from a little dog today...a lovable little furball that he enjoyed petting for a few minutes. Little surprises like these have been a nice way to break up the long day.

As far as how I am doing...exhausted, but happy to be here with Jacob when he needs me most. I tried to take little naps when he rested between nausea episodes last night. If you put it all together it probably adds up to an hour or two total. A shower and breakfast this morning helped me to feel human again though and I am hoping that tonight is a better night for both of us. Thank you everyone for the many emails and texts. It helps to pass he time and remember that there is a world out there beyond this hospital room. All the Words With Friends games have been wonderful too...I finally kicked my sister's but...that was a pick-me-up for sure :o)

Well, he's finally resting peacefully, so am going to try to sneak downstairs and grab some lunch. I'd say that I will try to nap, but those who know me well, know that I am lousy at nodding off during daylight hours. My body just isn't programmed that way. I'll try to post again this evening to let you know how the rest of the day goes.